The Secrets We Keep
by MissingMommy
Summary: James and Lily ask Peter to be their Secret Keeper.


White stone: Guilt.

Accuracy - Peter Pettigrew, Power - James/Lily, Technique - blanket.

Shout out to Amber for looking this over for me.

* * *

"Thanks for coming on such short notice, Wormtail," James says.

Peter stands at the top of the stairs for the basement of Hog's Head. All the courage he mustered up before the meeting is gone; it vanished the moment he laid eyes on his friends.

There are bags under James' eyes from sleepless nights. His friend looks older than he ever did at Hogwarts, even after a full moon with the others. The war has been taking its toll on everyone and James is no exception. Peter's heart constricts painfully at that thought.

He forces himself to follow James down the stairs and into the dark basement. He can hear Lily singing softly before he sees her.

Light from James' wand lights up the basement. Lily looks exhausted as she sways side to side, singing a lullaby that Peter doesn't recognize. She's holding Harry against her shoulder, but he can see that the child is fast asleep.

James kisses her temple as she her voice trails off, her lullaby ending. She smiles at James before carefully maneuvering Harry into the baby bed at her feet. She covers him with a blanket that has seen better days; it's a faded yellow with tears throughout. Peter gets the feeling that it means a lot to Lily by how delicately she moves it.

Then she turns towards Peter, leaning forward to give him a hug.

Peter's always enjoyed Lily's hugs. They are warm and make him feel secure in ways he's never felt before. But her hug today just makes Peter feel sick to his stomach.

Lily and James share a look before they turn back to face Peter. Their happiness has disappeared in favor of seriousness.

"We want to ask you to do something for us," Lily says. Her voice is soft, as not to wake Harry. He sees the dark rings under her eyes and the way she looks weary.

James wraps his arm around Lily's waist, pulling her closer. "We want to settle down."

Dread fills Peter's stomach. He barely keeps himself from shaking.

"It's just," Lily says sadly, "we're constantly on the move. It's not good for us, much less Harry. It's for our safety, I know, but it gets tiring after awhile."

"But You-Know-Who is still after you," Peter points out, his voice shaking.

Lily nods. "He is. But we've been talking to Dumbledore. We can finally settle down if we use the Fidelius Charm."

"But for that spell, we'll need a Secret Keeper," James says. "Which is why we wanted to meet with you."

"Me?" Peter squeaks in surprise, pointing to himself.

James puts a hand on Peter's shoulder, grinning. "Yes, you! You're one of my best mates."

Peter feels panic bubbling under his skin. "What about Sirius or Remus? Surely they would make better Secret Keepers."

"Sirius will be first person that everyone will think we used," Lily answers. "And Remus is still on that assignment that is hush-hush."

James just grins as he squeezes Peter's shoulder. "Come on, mate. Don't sell yourself short. You'll be fine. We trust you."

He swallows thickly. He feels his resolve slipping away. He's never done well under pressure. He gives in instead of arguing, hating himself a little when he says, "Okay. I'll do it."

Lily's grin is beautiful as she turns to hug James in relief.

"See, Lils, I told you that he'd do it," James says happily. He kisses the top of her head.

"A home, James. A real one. One we don't have to change every week," she whispers, her words muffled by his chest.

Peter swallows again. "When are we doing this?"

Lily pulls away from James. "Are you free to do it tonight? We just have to cast the spell."

Peter doesn't trust his voice.

She takes his hand as she says, "You meet us there with Harry."

Then she Apparates with him. When they land, they are in middle of a cosy cottage. Peter doesn't recognize the place; the cottage isn't a place that he remembers James taking them during the summer holidays.

James lands not longer after, clutching his son in one hand and the worn yellow blanket in the other. Harry is crying. Lily finally lets go of Peter's wrist as she steps forward to taking their crying son.

"I got him. You do the spell since you're better at Charms," James says. He mimics what Lily was doing when he first arrived, even the singing, which Peter finds him to be a surprisingly good singer.

Harry continues to cry, though it gets softer, as Lily starts to cast the spell. She tells him the location, and seals the spell.

She wraps her arms around him again. "Thank you so much for this, Peter. I could never repay you for this."

Peter is about to protest when James calls for Lily. She gives him a smile as she goes to find James. Peter takes this moment to Apparate away.

He's barely lands when he throws up. He wipes his mouth as he straightens. He vanishes the mess and slums against the wall of his flat. He can't believe what he just agreed to.

Maybe the Dark Lord won't find out. Maybe he won't have to tell him about this development. But there's a part of him that knows that he will find out and that he'll press Peter for details, and he'll have to admit to being the Secret Keeper.

He feels tears streaking down his face as he whispers, "I'm so sorry for being weak."

There's no one to hear his apology.


End file.
